I'm not going to lie. It has been a rough week. I'm still crying all the time and at random intervals. I can't mention Piper without my voice cracking. I can't stop glancing over at her usual sitting places and hoping I'll hear her soft, trilling brrr? in response. Today, I looked at the clock at 4:30 and thought It's been exactly a week since we put her to sleep. And a dark, terrible, sorrowful feeling crept over me. How long did I mourn Thor when he died? I know it took weeks for me to go a single day without bursting into tears then. Will that be the same for Piper? Will it take longer? Should it take longer? I don't know. I don't have any answers for why grief takes so long and why it hurts so much. All I know is that I feel a Piper-sized hole in my heart and wind is just wooshing through it. It's cold and overwhelming. It just fucking hurts all the time. 

But life trudges on, even when you're not ready for it. 

So. Anyway. Mastodon.

Still not quite sure I want to jump back on the social network bandwagon again. I'm tired of it. About all I can do anymore is Instagram and Pinterest because that takes very little social interaction beyond repinning and liking. But Mastodon is a federated social network that you can install on your own server. I'm testing it out on my home server to see if it's something I was to stick with or not. Maybe I'll join a public instance one day; until then I'm happy staying out of it all.